Falling Into Love, Gradually

September. My summer love project is officially over, and I haven’t had any dramatic breakthroughs. I was getting a little discouraged, but I remembered something that Reverend Michael said once in a sermon, that the changes sometimes come gradually, unnoticed until we look back and compare who we were then with who we are now. I decided to continue the project into September, October, November – to fall into love! I mean, if you think about it, love works in any season.

My first experience at Agape International Spiritual Center last January was stressful, particularly doing the affirmations. We had to lock eyes with another parishioner and repeat after Reverend Michael, something like “I see you. I see who you really are. You have potential. I know because I have it too. I see myself in you...” Saying the affirmation wasn’t hard in and of itself; it was the eye contact that killed me.

Propeller Miracles

Day 18 of my Summer Love Project. As usual, ideas and insights are coming faster than I can write about them, and as I was away in Florida for almost two weeks with intermittent Internet access, I have some catching up to do here! I am still working on being present, on being love – doesn’t happen all of the time, probably not even the majority of the time, but I do a little every day when I think of it, and I have noticed some subtle changes. Nothing dramatic or earth-shattering, just a little more inner peace every day, an inner glow and happiness more often than before, and a higher tolerance for noise and dysfunction that used to upset me horribly. I’ll take it.

Before I left for Florida, I went over to my brother’s house to do laundry. The dryer at my parents’ house was broken, and there wasn’t time to air dry everything before my trip. My brother and his wife came home with their two little boys before I finished, and the four-year-old, Lukas, wanted to stay and play with me rather than go to the gym with them. I was tired and had a lot to do at home, but I decided to stay and spend time with him. With his Lincoln Logs we built something that vaguely resembled a barn; he put in his toy cow and then went to get some ‘hay’ for him from behind the television, and I told him we needed to leave the cow so he could eat and take a nap.

Starting Summer Love!

It’s August 2 – day 2 into my Summer Love Project! Reverend Michael at the Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles is always saying that we need to ‘be the light in the room,’ to ‘be love,’ so I decided to make a challenge for myself. For the month of August, I am going to make a concentrated effort to be love. I’m hoping that a month of practice will make it a habit for me.

I can’t say that I totally understand what this means. In general, when I find myself turning inwards and shutting down, closing myself off from others, I think of my niece and nephews. I remember how excited Noelle was to give me a delicate gold necklace with a tiny volleyball charm or how Sage laughed and laughed as he scooped up sand from the sand box and dumped it on his head. My heart fills up with love; I imagine myself hugging all five of them at once, and then I try to breathe into that feeling so that it stays with me in all of my interactions. I’m sure that feeling love for them and gratitude for what they bring to my life helps me by raising my vibrational level. (It must, right?)